Monthly Archives: May 2013

The Quickest Way to Change Your Reality

meaning

A few weeks ago I wrote a series called Four Steps to Getting Paid to Make a Difference. This was based on my experience and my personal journey over the last few years. It was a way for me to organize all of the steps that led me to launch this blog and to start a business based on the things I was most curious about.

The first thing I talked about was how to Get on Your Feet Financially. I talk about building a foundation of financial stability so that you can pursue your greatest work without the energy of fear and scarcity lurking in the background.

The second thing I talked about was how to Simplify and Prioritize Your Life so that you have the time and energy to create something brilliant.

The third subject was all about Creating Room for Expansion which allows us to create our life in the direction that is most inspiring.

And the final entry in the series was about Creating a Life with Meaning and Money. This idea focuses on the necessary action step of deliberate experimentation and pursuing your most inspiring ideas.

After putting together a comprehensive blog series on the steps that I have taken to get where I am, something still felt like it was missing.

And I figured out what it is.

Step 5: Surround yourself with people that support you.

As I began talking to people about pursuing steps to create a life with more meaning and money, I realized that I had left out maybe the most important step of all.

Whatever you do, begin surrounding yourself with people that support you!

Maybe you’ve heard this quote from Jim Rohn:

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

What we believe is possible for ourselves, who we can become, what we can achieve, what we deserve, is largely determined by how we were raised, who we spend time with, and the community we’re surrounded by.

Thus my realization that you can be following all the other steps above, but if you are surrounding yourself with a crowd that has no desire for doing something greater…well, good luck!

How we limit ourselves.

Have you ever heard someone say something limiting about themselves that just sounds ridiculous?

“I want to get out of debt but I don’t make enough money.”

“I wish I could get in shape, but I don’t have the time.”

“I’d love to travel more, but it’s too expensive.”

“I want to find a lover, but there’s just no one out there for me.”

To the person making the statement, these thoughts might seem completely true. Some people really think that debt-free living is only for people who make a certain amount of money, or they don’t have time to get in shape, or that travel is cost prohibitive unless you’re rich, or they will never find love so why bother looking.

To others, these are just weak excuses. Maybe you read the above and knew better.

But no matter who you are, and how easily you can recognize the weak excuses of others, you’re never without your own self-limiting beliefs. Some of your beliefs probably even seem like silly excuses or uninformed points of view to others who have more informed views of the subjects than you do.

We all live in our own realities.

Where do these self-imposed limits and beliefs come from?

Think about who you spend the most time with. Is how you see yourself influenced by what those people believe and what they have achieved and aspire to?

Now think about your own limiting beliefs.

What do you accept as being out of reach in your life?

How do the people you spend time with contribute to those beliefs?

It’s not just your closest friends who influence how you see yourself and what you accept as reality. Your surroundings, your media influences and the status quo you’re surrounded by all have a big impact as well.

If you’re surrounded by unhappy, out of shape, in-debt people, whether they’re close friends or simply your community or co-workers, guess what you’re likely to be as well?

Make a Breakthrough!

Here are two ways to make a breakthrough in your life.

  • Surrounding yourself with people who have broader, more enlightened and ambitious views of themselves and life is one way to change your own reality.
  • Another way is to take an honest look at yourself and admit that you’re capable of much more than what you’ve allowed yourself to become so far. Then force yourself into a period of discomfort. If you’re comfortable, you’re not growing. To change your life, you have to embrace being uncomfortable regularly.

The good news is we’re all capable of these voluntary adjustments of reality. These moments of clarity are opportunities and gifts, but they shouldn’t be relied on for all the progress you hope to make in your life.

You have to use these moments of clarity to make changes that will give your not-so-bold self a safety net. When you’re ready to change your life, you should devote part of your energy to tackling your challenges head-on, but you should also use some of your energy to change your surroundings and influences.

The easiest way to make a big change is to upgrade your surroundings.

I don’t know about you, but I only have a limited amount of will-power. If I am trying to lose weight and get in better shape, the last thing I need is to be hanging around someone who heads straight to happy hour for two dollar cheeseburgers and a pint of ale.

It will be much easier to achieve my desired lifestyle result if I’m surrounding myself with people that are talking about going for a run after work or discussing how to make delicious and healthy meals.

Never accept your current surroundings as your reality.

Do you really want to make changes in your life? Then be very deliberate about who you spend the most time with every day.

Make new friends, change jobs, start a business, move to a new place, start reading new books or blogs, find a mentor, stop watching so much junk TV, stop hanging out with the negative people in your life, and start doing more things that make you come alive.

Be bold and get purposeful about who you spend your time with. Do you spend your time with people out of obligation, out of old habit?

This may sound silly to some people but I keep a list of the people who inspire me and who I want to meet. And I find creative ways to meet them or get introduced to them.

I don’t think there is anything more exciting than bonding together with someone in pursuit of a common goal: to mold your reality as you want it to be.

It’s true, you might be the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with, and you’re likely to live a life much like your colleagues and people in your community. The good news is that you can change your surroundings.

Remember, your reality is up to you!

What is the first thing that you would change in your surroundings? Leave a comment if you feel inspired.

Michael

How Do You Deal With Resistance?

warofart2

 

An important part of my journey towards doing more meaningful work is reading books that inspire and challenge me. I am shooting for a book a month. And I have decided to share my thoughts about the books that have a direct impact on doing work that matters, escaping the corporate treadmill, earning money in your own business, lifestyle businesses, etc.

The process of starting something meaningful and profitable can seem both exciting and daunting at the same time. I often wonder if it’s normal to feel inspired one moment and feel like quitting the next. What is it that causes this huge fluctuation in emotion and the ability to stay focused on the task at hand? I have found the answer in Steven Pressfield’s classic read, ‘The War of Art’.

Someone once said, “The enemy is a very good teacher.” According to Pressfield, the enemy is Resistance. Resistance is felt by everyone and it rears its ugly head most vociferously during activities endeavored in pursuit of a higher calling and during which you are certain to experience challenges, setbacks, and delayed gratification. In other words: anything worth doing! These can include, according to Pressfield: “the pursuit of any creative art, however marginal or unconventional; the launching of any entrepreneurial venture; any program designed to overcome an unwholesome habit or addiction; any activity whose aim is tighter abdominals.”

Pressfield makes his living as a writer, primarily of fiction (his best known work is ‘The Legend of Bagger Vance’), who must sit down at his computer and contend with Resistance every day. He personifies Resistance vividly throughout the book, referring to it as “a bully” and “Santa’s evil twin.” In ‘The War of Art’ he encourages the reader, whatever his or her motives or goals, to look Resistance in the eye and tell it to f*** off.

Key Themes

Everyone experiences Resistance every single day. Be prepared that you, yes you, qualify as “everyone”. Resistance takes many forms, most notably procrastination. It can manifest itself in ways that distract us from doing our most important work including: TV, drugs, shopping, web-surfing, email addiction, gossip, sugar, chronic lateness, compulsive screwing-up, self-created drama, self-medication and/or feeling sorry for yourself (plus many more). Do any of these sound familiar? If so, you are battling with Resistance.

The way to defeat Resistance, according to Pressfield, is to become a Professional. Pressfield writes, “Resistance hates it when we turn pro.” Turning pro doesn’t mean getting included in membership of a professional association or earning a degree; it means doing the work every day. He tells us, “There’s no mystery to turning pro. It’s a decision brought about by an act of will. We make up our mind to view ourselves as pros and we do it. Simple as that.”

If you are looking for a clear course of action, you will be disappointed. Pressfield implores you to do the work, do the work, do the work. Master your craft, endure the inevitable adversity, dedicate your life to your work, arm yourself with patience and commit to the long haul. Do not over-identify with your craft! Resistance loves when you over-identify with your work: it knows you will never complete the work when you are over-invested because you are too afraid to fail. Instead be mission-focused and regard your work with a cool detachment to keep you from freezing up. And, yes: do the work.

At 165 pages, ‘The War of Art’ is a quick read. Pressfield’s style of writing is aggressive, funny, passionate and inspiring. This book will appeal to anyone that reads this blog, especially career-changers, life hackers, aspiring entrepreneurs, experienced entrepreneurs who are in a holding pattern, self-proclaimed creative types and anyone who would benefit from a little kick-in-the-ass inspiration. This is the kind of book you can pick up, flip through to a random page, and find a few choice words to put a bit of fire in your belly. Then get on with it and do the work.

Here are some of my favorite quotes from the book:

Resistance is the enemy of creativity

“What does Resistance feel like? First, unhappiness.  We feel like hell. A low-grade misery pervades everything. We’re bored, we’re restless. We can’t get no satisfaction. There’s guilt but we can’t put our finger on the source. We want to go back to bed; we want to get up and party. We feel unloved and unlovable. We’re disgusted. We hate our lives. We hate ourselves.”

“Procrastination is the most common manifestation of Resistance because it’s the easiest to rationalize.  We don’t tell ourselves, “I’m never going to write my symphony.” Instead we say, “I am going to write my symphony; I’m just going to start tomorrow.”

“Never forget: This very moment, we can change our lives. There never was a moment, and never will be, when we are without the poser to alter our destiny. This second, we can turn the tables on Resistance. This second, we can sit down and do our work.”

Fear and self-doubt are part of the creative process

“Fear doesn’t go away. The warrior and the artist live by the same code of necessity, which dictates that the battle must be fought anew every day.”

“If you find yourself asking yourself (and your friends), “Am I really a writer? Am I really an artist?” chances are you are. The counterfeit innovator is wildly self-confident. The real one is scared to death.”

“Resistance feeds on fear… Fear of failure. Fear of being ridiculous. Fear of throwing away the education, the training, the preparation that those we love have sacrificed so much for, that we ourselves have worked our butts off for.  Fear of launching into the void, of hurtling too far out there; fear of passing some point of no return.”

“The artist committing himself to his calling has volunteered for hell, whether he knows it or not. He will be dining for the duration on a diet of isolation, rejection, self-doubt, despair, ridicule, contempt, and humiliation.”

“We fear discovering that we are more than we think we are. More than our parents/children/teachers think we are. We fear that we actually possess the talent that our still, small voice tells us. That we actually have the guts, the perseverance, the capacity. We fear that we truly can steer our ship, plant our flag, reach our Promised Land. We fear this because, if it’s true, then we become estranged from all we know.”

“The amateur believes he must first overcome his fear; then he can do his work. The professional knows that fear can never be overcome. He knows there is no such thing as a fearless warrior or a dread-free artist.”

If you don’t love it, don’t waste your time.

“We must do our work for its own sake, not for fortune or attention or applause.”

“The professional, though he accepts money, does his work out of love. He has to love it. Otherwise he wouldn’t devote his life to it of his own free will.”

“To labor in the arts for any reason other than love is prostitution.”

“The professional loves her work. She is invested in it wholeheartedly. But she does not forget that the work is not her. Her artistic self contains many works and many performances. Already the next is percolating inside her. The next will be better, and the one after that better still.”

“It’s better to be in the arena, getting stomped by the bull, than to be up in the stands or out in the parking lot.”

“If we were the last person on earth, would we still show up at the studio, the rehearsal hall, the laboratory?”

“The professional loves her work.  She is invested in it wholeheartedly.  But she does not forget that the work is not her.  Her artistic self contains many works and many performances.  Already the next is percolating inside her.  The next will be better, and the one after that better still.”

Just because its art doesn’t mean that it will be easy.

“The most important thing about art is to work. Nothing else matters except sitting down every day and trying.”

“This is the other secret that real artists know and wannabe writers don’t. When we sit down each day and do our work, power concentrates around us. The Muse takes note of our dedication. She approves. We have earned favor in her sight. When we sit down and work, we become like a magnetized rod that attracts iron filings. Ideas come. Insight accrete.”

“The professional dedicates himself to mastering technique not because he believes technique is a substitute for inspiration but because he wants to be in possession of the full arsenal of skills when inspiration does come.  The professional is sly.  He knows that by toiling beside the front door of technique, he leaves room for genius to enter by the back.”

Success is becoming what you already are

“The professional has learned that success, like happiness, comes as a by-product of work. The professional concentrates on the work and allows rewards to come or not come, whatever they like.”

“Our job in this lifetime is not to shape ourselves into some ideal we imagine we ought to be, but to find out who we already are and become it.”

“That’s why an artist must be a warrior and, like all warriors, artists over time acquire modesty and humility. They may, some of them, conduct themselves flamboyantly in public. But alone with the work they are chaste and humble. They know they are not the source of the creations they bring into being. They only facilitate. They carry. They are the willing and skilled instruments of the gods and goddesses they serve.”

“Creative work is not a selfish act or a bid for attention on the part of the actor. It’s a gift to the world and every being in it. Don’t cheat us of your contribution. Give us what you’ve got.”

What do you think about ‘The War of Art’?

  • Do you think Steven Pressfield is right when he says that what holds us back is not our level of talent, but our ability to overcome our own fears and self-doubt?
  • Do you agree that when it comes to becoming successful, we are often our own worst enemy?
  • What types of “Resistance” do you find yourself dealing with on a daily basis? How do you overcome it?

Share a thought or two about your creative journey! 

How Loving What You Do Is the Quickest Path to Doing What You Love

 

9222_1000-1000-0Some might argue that learning to love what you do is a surefire way to get stuck a comfortable place and never pursue your greatest work. I disagree. By learning to love what you do, you will create enormous momentum that will carry you forward much faster than if you are constantly focusing on how much your job sucks.

Before we can do what we love, we must first start by loving what we do.

Even if you have a clear vision of what’s next, what about right now? How can I enjoy what I’m being paid to do in the here and now?

You may be in a job or career that you don’t feel you can change right now. Perhaps because you have a huge mortgage, kids, debt or any one of the other million possibilities that don’t allow you to totally push reset. That’s fine (for now). But that also doesn’t mean you condemn yourself to a life of career complacency and sleepwalking.

How are you experiencing your work?

In some of my previous jobs, I found that the more I resisted the job, the harder it was for me to do it. Rather than pushing against it, I needed to be grateful that someone had trusted me with the opportunity to do work and be paid for it.

I remember the day where I realized that I needed to stop resisting my job and work with the opportunity that I was given. I had a business coach challenge me to either make the most of the opportunity that I had or to get out! I can say with 100% certainty that this change in perspective enabled me to move forward by leaps and bounds.

How I turned my greatest challenge into my greatest ally

The first step — like most things — started with changing my point of view. Instead of seeing my job as a necessary evil, I started viewing it in a more positive light. I began being grateful for all of the things my job was allowing me to have and do.

The second step was becoming completely accountable for my situation. I began accepting complete responsibility for what I was creating in my career and in my life. I no longer made excuses for things that were (or were not) happening.

Please do not underestimate the power of the two steps above. These steps helped me gain clarity about the kind of work that I wanted to be doing. And ultimately led to my current job which allows me to work from home, have some flexibility in my schedule, and pays me well enough to save 20% of my income.

As I learned how to value my job, my job began supporting me in many new ways, including building my own business on the side. My job has allowed me to hone valuable skills that I am currently using to start my web show and consulting business.

My job has also helped me to be humble. I have accepted that while it’s not my ultimate dream to be in software sales, it isn’t that bad and it is allowing me to accomplish many things while I am building my new business on the side.

My day job has also taught me how to be patient. While working towards creating my own version of freedom, I am building a sustainable business that will allow me to leave my day job as my side business income grows. Building a new business is similar to farming. You till your fields, you plant your crops, and you cultivate them for weeks or months before you ever reap the rewards.

How to make your job enjoyable

1.      Leverage your career strengths.

Leverage your current skills to do work that is familiar and will pay you well. This is also known as career leverage and it will make your life easier. If you already have a job where you are using your skills and being paid well, then consider yourself one step ahead of the game.

I took this step over three years ago when I leveraged my network to get back into software sales. Rather than seeing this as a step back, I knew that I could land a job that would allow me to do work that I was familiar with and where I could get paid really well for my efforts. And I also knew that there would not be much of a learning curve since I had done this type of work before.

As a result of leveraging my career experience, I was able to find a job where I am paid for my results, I get to work from home, and I am challenged and not bored.

2.      Understand where you’re at your best.

Then spend your time doing it. And find a way to stop doing the things you hate and suck at. If you enjoy marketing but hate making sales calls, then get creative and find a way to do more marketing and fewer sales calls. Your situation might not be that clear but I guarantee there’s room to work. There always is.

Using my natural strengths has been the biggest single contributor to fulfillment in my work. Everything is so much better when you fill your time doing things you’re awesome (or at least good) at. As you begin experimenting with your own business ideas, it will become very important for you to focus on what you’re good at and delegate (i.e. pay someone else) to do the rest.

3.      Find a bigger reason why.

When you’re stuck in spreadsheet hell, it’s all too easy to lose sight of life. Find a way to connect your seemingly mundane task (assuming someone else can’t do it) to the overall purpose of the company or the people your product or service is designed to serve.

Or better yet, know that the work you are doing now is supporting your efforts to do work that matters later. Some days, the only thing that keeps me going is knowing that what I am doing today is supporting something bigger and greater.

Part of the path to doing work that matters is making sure that you have a sustainable path to fulfilling your desire. And unless you already have a large pile of cash, or are expecting a windfall, your current job is supporting you and your efforts to do more meaningful work later.

4.      Negotiate working from home.

Sometimes being in the office and dealing with a commute is the worst part of your job. You might love the work but get lost in the B.S. of a bureaucratic office. You’ve got to convince your boss you can do better work at home. Start with asking for half a day on a Friday and then maybe a full day.

Be sure to be massively productive and send her everything you did on your day off. Explain how much more productive you are in a quiet and focused environment. Then show her the results. If a half or full day is too hard to negotiate then take a day off and tell her you have to stay home with your kids or wait for the plumber. Pick something realistic (and ideally true). And then use this time to prove how productive you were. Then follow up with a note that you had more time at home than you thought and here’s all the stuff you were able to accomplish in an uninterrupted environment.

I realize that not all jobs have this option. A nurse can’t do her job from home. But many jobs do offer this as an option. A big part of happiness for many people is owning their own schedule. This starts with training your boss to focus on output, not time in office. With that comes freedom.

Making the best of today does not mean sacrificing your dream tomorrow.

Let’s be clear. The above is not an excuse to stay in a job when you know that you have more meaningful work to do. It’s simply a short-term solution to a problem that millions of people face.

You are still responsible for finding your most meaningful work. It’s out there. But remember, there’ll never be a perfect time to take the jump. Wait as little as possible. But be smart about the transition so that you don’t put yourself or your family in a bind.

Start saving some money to cushion the transition and start experimenting with how you can make your mark on the world. The more clearly you understand the importance of doing what matters, the more likely you are to do something about it.

Work your plan. Make your current job part of the plan and suddenly your meaningless commute will have a little purpose to it. That’s a start.

Now it’s up to you.

If you’ve found meaning in the message above, then you have changed your perspective on your job and you understand the value in it as an important part of the journey to doing more meaningful work. I mean, if you’re going to stay in your job (for now) you might as well get some enjoyment from it.

But don’t sit idle. Start now by clearing some time in your week for exploring ideas that excite you. And remember that it’s likely going to take work to get something new and exciting off the ground. Welcome it. If you aren’t happy with your current situation then take some steps and do something about it. Remember…delaying happiness today does not equal more happiness tomorrow.

It’s up to you now.

No excuses.

No more sleep walking through life.

You can either sit idle while your story gets written or you can wake up and start writing it yourself.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Have you ever felt trapped by your day job? What did you do to change how you felt about it?